🔥The Fueg: Lewk2consider... Gross Hot 🔥
Hi beauty,
Welcome to 🔥The Fueg 🔥, the newsletter no one asked for but everyone needs. As you may know, I've converted... to a snowbird. Yes, you read that right. I've been hiding away in the sun, working 9-to-5 on my tan. I've always been extremely inspired by the lobster lewk, bikinis in lieu of blazers. So today, let's oil up and ditch the botox, bc the Fueg is transporting you to a seriously questionable LeWk2ConSidEr, Gross Hot. But this isn't just a regular Fueg (not that a "regular" Fueg exists). This one is in partnership with the exxxtremely fire Uncle Terry Smells.
Ah, gross hot. That point when your tan turns slightly orange and your too-tiny-neon-kini lights up every room (even from 6 ft away). Pls take a moment to add a soundtrack to your reading.
Okay. LFG to the land of GROSS HOT!!!
1. Suns out, buns out, but make it a little bit country klub
Nothing goes better with a tan than minimal clothing and maybe a pearl bellychain to cLaSs iT uP! I've found complete comfort in my snowbird winter with other sun-seekers (yes this is the name of my beloved high school tanning salon) thru our mutual love of inappropriate crop tops and visible tanlines. Overfill your wine spritzer, steal the golf cart, the world is your oyster.Â
2. Accessories are everything
Whether it's solar shades, a magazine that fends off the weirdos who seem to not understand social distancing, or ice cream as a statement piece, gross hot is all about that extra something. Give me your sunglass tan, your Spring Breakers robbing mask, your XL red nails. Nothing is too much (except too much clothing).
3. Lean into local merch
In gRosS HoT locales, nothing screams "i belong here" quite like local merch. Enter: Versace. Is there a difference between the boardwalk shop littered with cropped rhinestone tanks and the Versace mansion? I think. The fuck. Not. Pull up in that Prada sailboat. Bring the skinny cigs. And the 24K gold lighter for your Uncle Terry Smells candle.
4. Never underestimate the power of a designer Teva
Ah, the teva. The official shoe of gross hot. Why, you might ask? Maybe it's the opportunity for an unconventinal tanline. Perhaps it's the chance to rock a $300 designer sock. Swap those tired havianas for an adventurous fashun Teva, let your toes take a vaca. Plus, the loud click-clack of a beaded Teva gives your gross hot tiny lewk the rite audiofueg to express urself.
5. SPFÂ is a lewk.
Little known fact: SPF actually stands for Super Phuckin Fly. I don't see sunblock as a block at all. It's a runway of opportunity. Go bold like Mark with a full-face lewk. Going for the rich lewk? Try diamonds instead of the standard tanning goggles. A little gross never stopped anyone from being hot AF.
So, my fuegiest friends, thank you for being a part of this gross hot journey. I hope you've pulled out your halter tops, tanning oil, and lucky charms... because this is the moment we've all been waiting for. THE GIVEAWAY. A few lucky winners who are reading this rite now will be getting an exclusive, elusive custom candle from Uncle Terry Smells x The Fueg.
Don't email me, I'll email u (but actually pls do email me i love 2 hear ur thots). Winner will be announced Friday probably who knows you know I hate to commit.
LOVE U LIKE I LOVE MY TANLINES
Amy
Hit this so I know u never want 2 unsubscribe and bc ur hot as hell.Â
+ FWD 2 UR FRIENDS