🔥The Fueg: Suburban Brat 🔥
Shalom lovers and friends,
Welcome to 🔥The Fueg 🔥, the newsletter no one asked for but everyone needs. Today I'm freeballing because I'm feeling lit from within after a trip to the outlets just outside of Palm Springs. ✅ yes i acquired an elite mall walking chunky sneaker in a dad-approved colorway, ✅ yes I embraced more deeply the concept I've been toying with my whole life and only recently have re-engaged with: suburban brat™️ (NOTE: this was a rebranded spin-off of the original archetype: th0tmitzvah).
So today, my fuegiest friends, we're going to ditch our classic format in lieu for some quick-hit thots on the Suburban Brat™️ lifestyle. LFG!!!!!
1. INSIGHT: Brianna Wallace is the ultimate Suburban Brat™️
Nothing says brat like lipgloss and vacation on your daddy's resort. Can you say Paris Hilton? LOVES IT!! My hot take: layered tanks are back, partial up-do's are a lewk2consider, and saying "thank you" when you really mean "i hate you" is a forever mood.
2. Mall glamour is never not it.
Remember the days of hitting the mall with your 17 BFFs to cop matching Abercrombie graphic cap-sleeve tees? I couldn't help but feel the nostalgia pangs whilst seeing today's teens hit the outlet malls in socks and 'stocks Gucci slides drinking colorful blended bevs at the Starbucks kiosk. Ah, to be young and in love with mall brands!!! Embrace the fountain, drop a lucky penny in, and wish for glamour!!!
3. Bookworm aesthetic is back - but this time in the form of #booktok
There's a new (and unlikely) brand of Suburban Brat™️ in town and it comes in the form of a pretentious, turtleneck-or-oversized-pastel-suit-clad bookworm. Yes. You read that right. She is an intellectual. She isn't just about lipgloss and rhinestones, she has depth. She reads a whole book, front to back, in one day *and major key: ignores everyone while doing so*. What is that book, you might ask? The bitchiest book available: Mercury Retrograde. So get your folding chair ready and head to the park in a lewk that says "I'm hotter than you AND smarter."
4. BONUS: hot shopping ideas for the Suburban Brat™️
Balenciaga mall shoes
Overpriced neutral sweatsuit
and ofc the FUEG: Mini Diptyque rose candle for the on-the-go Suburban Brat™️ (s/o sister for sending me one to make my nomadic lifestyle brattier!!!!)
PS
come to my party next Wednesday 7/14!!! we'll be serving lewks and espresso martinis on a wednesday afternoon at a convenience store. we love it. come correct and feel free to bring ur (hot) friends.
